falling in love

On the first day of school at York University, during orientation day, I realized that I had a major flaw. My major flaw was that in comparison to the other English majors there, I did not love my program of study. In this university, people L-O-V-E English… for pleasure they read large novels, write poetry and short stories. As they shared with me their interests, fear crept into my mind because I felt that I did not belong. My stomach ached and I felt trapped because of the inner conflict between my limited love for English and strong belief that God wants me in this program. So, I decided that I would pray a bold prayer to my Papa above. I prayed that ‘one day, I will fall in love with English, just like the rest of these folks and be able to use this skill to further His kingdom.’

At this point, I still had to conquer 24 weeks of lectures and tutorials with English fanatics. Surely, it was a gradual process that began with fear and tears, as I realized the great skills and knowledge I lacked in this field of study. Although I knew how to speak my mind, I had to learn to speak in a quick and concise manner during tutorials. My perspectives had to be innovative, unique and profound. Even though I had not studied poetry in three years of high school, I had to pick it up and speak as if I had studied it all summer! Just as the characters in my stories learned to open my mind and listen, I had to do the same. Daydreaming was not an option and I had to listen to others to find my OWN voice. Over the course of this first year in university, I became a girl that was not afraid of English lectures. In fact, I began to find them as therapeutic and that it would provide me greater insight towards the people and world around me.

Have a completely fallen in my love with my program yet? No, definitely not…In contrast to my English friends, I have a long way to go, but I have great confidence that God will made me love it sooooo much one day. The walk of life is long and the first year of university is just the beginning…the beginning of my career to becoming an educator that God has always wanted me to be.

~cho