essential 7
what are 7 essential lessons that month-of coordinators should learn before helping their friend/family tie the knot?
In early July, I got the honour to help my friend coordinate her wedding. Inviting approximately 300 guests, she gave me the responsibility to be her right hand man. With my type of "alpha"-personality, it was definitely my type of job...but it was also a daunting task to ensure that my close sister's fairy tale wedding unfolded according to her vision. Here are 7 essential things that I learned from my experience:
1) stay organized using schedules and templates you are comfortable with. As a month-of coordinator, you are coming into the brides' pictures in the latter part of her planning process. Instead of adapting to her organizational style, modify her documents and charts in a way that makes sense to you. When the big day comes, you need to be able to read schedules and demanding quickly. Create your own templates and fill it in according to her/his info. By re-organizing his/her information, you will most likely begin to find gaps and unaddressed issues. These gaps can be brought up to the table.
2) communicate! As an inexperienced month-of coordinator, the master of ceremonies and officiant had to the take the initiative to contact me. That was a huge mistake! Insist on meeting early and hash out details to ensure that you minimize the need to revise your schedule. While talking with the officiant, take his/her concerns into consideration but reserve place for your professional, own opinion as well.
3) communicate! PART 2. Especially with low-budget weddings, the couple often chooses to ask their close friends to volunteer and help out with refreshments and music. Make sure you are actively checking with the group and asking them about their progress. Even if the bride/groom insists that everything is going well, a text will not harm you. Again, you want to make yourself available and minimize sudden requests on the day of the wedding. Before the day of the wedding, coordinators should stress the "call-time" for all volunteers.
4) accept the reality. During my friend's wedding, I had no time to socialize with my friends, former counsellors and family friends. That is the clear reality about the job because the moment you stop, the train doesn't move and you will be suddenly behind schedule. When you accept the job as a month-of coordinator, you need to know that you are committing to running a marathon. When you think you have free-time, know that it is a vacant moment for you to stay hydrated, review your notes, checking the schedule, checking with the vendors and making sure volunteers are okay.
5) better safe than sorry! At this wedding, I was worried about being "extra." In a sense, I felt like preparing a "emergency kit", "extra schedules", "walkie talkies" was overpacking for my job...but it wasn't. Here is the story. I watched videos and googled about prepping for an emergency kit because I knew all wedding planners had it. I went to the wedding thinking that the bride and groom would never need it. However, at 9:00 a.m., 2.5 hours before the wedding, the groom comes up to me requesting wet wipes...Why did the groom need wet wipes?! Who knows?...but thankfully, I had packed it.
Aside from the kit, take the initiative to read venue regulations because "the broken telephone chain" between the couple and coordinator is real!
6) as a coordinator, know that you are basically covering up all the messes, confusion and mistakes throughout the couples' wedding day. Prepare yourself to be quick-on-your feet and flexible. Appoint a reliable attendee that could help you make a "Shoppers/McDonalds" trip if necessary. Have an extra friend that could help you direct your guests OR vendors to the eating area. On d-day, your job is to make sure the bride/groom are not stressed. They should have absolutely no idea about the slips and accidents during their big day. Never bring any problems to them because they have appointed you to find solutions to those difficulties. They chose you because they trust you can handle tough situations in the best way possible.
7) trust your gut feeling! During the wedding planning process, there were moments where my instincts kicked in and I identified several minor problems but I chose not to say anything. And those moments haunted me because I was RIGHT, there wasn't enough space on the reception table for two lanes. The couple didn't expect young families to use the sound-proof room next to the sanctuary. The ushers didn't have a clear direction about their roles. Ask questions that pop in your mind. Squeeze your mind and find those 99 concerns you/bride/groom have yet to bring up!
If you are ever chosen to be your friend's month-of wedding coordinator, know that it is a blessing because they have appointed you to manage one of the most important days of the life. Even though there are countless meetings involved, think of your job as a blessing to the couple as they begin their journey together as husband and wife.
~c.h.
In early July, I got the honour to help my friend coordinate her wedding. Inviting approximately 300 guests, she gave me the responsibility to be her right hand man. With my type of "alpha"-personality, it was definitely my type of job...but it was also a daunting task to ensure that my close sister's fairy tale wedding unfolded according to her vision. Here are 7 essential things that I learned from my experience:
1) stay organized using schedules and templates you are comfortable with. As a month-of coordinator, you are coming into the brides' pictures in the latter part of her planning process. Instead of adapting to her organizational style, modify her documents and charts in a way that makes sense to you. When the big day comes, you need to be able to read schedules and demanding quickly. Create your own templates and fill it in according to her/his info. By re-organizing his/her information, you will most likely begin to find gaps and unaddressed issues. These gaps can be brought up to the table.
2) communicate! As an inexperienced month-of coordinator, the master of ceremonies and officiant had to the take the initiative to contact me. That was a huge mistake! Insist on meeting early and hash out details to ensure that you minimize the need to revise your schedule. While talking with the officiant, take his/her concerns into consideration but reserve place for your professional, own opinion as well.
3) communicate! PART 2. Especially with low-budget weddings, the couple often chooses to ask their close friends to volunteer and help out with refreshments and music. Make sure you are actively checking with the group and asking them about their progress. Even if the bride/groom insists that everything is going well, a text will not harm you. Again, you want to make yourself available and minimize sudden requests on the day of the wedding. Before the day of the wedding, coordinators should stress the "call-time" for all volunteers.
4) accept the reality. During my friend's wedding, I had no time to socialize with my friends, former counsellors and family friends. That is the clear reality about the job because the moment you stop, the train doesn't move and you will be suddenly behind schedule. When you accept the job as a month-of coordinator, you need to know that you are committing to running a marathon. When you think you have free-time, know that it is a vacant moment for you to stay hydrated, review your notes, checking the schedule, checking with the vendors and making sure volunteers are okay.
5) better safe than sorry! At this wedding, I was worried about being "extra." In a sense, I felt like preparing a "emergency kit", "extra schedules", "walkie talkies" was overpacking for my job...but it wasn't. Here is the story. I watched videos and googled about prepping for an emergency kit because I knew all wedding planners had it. I went to the wedding thinking that the bride and groom would never need it. However, at 9:00 a.m., 2.5 hours before the wedding, the groom comes up to me requesting wet wipes...Why did the groom need wet wipes?! Who knows?...but thankfully, I had packed it.
Aside from the kit, take the initiative to read venue regulations because "the broken telephone chain" between the couple and coordinator is real!
6) as a coordinator, know that you are basically covering up all the messes, confusion and mistakes throughout the couples' wedding day. Prepare yourself to be quick-on-your feet and flexible. Appoint a reliable attendee that could help you make a "Shoppers/McDonalds" trip if necessary. Have an extra friend that could help you direct your guests OR vendors to the eating area. On d-day, your job is to make sure the bride/groom are not stressed. They should have absolutely no idea about the slips and accidents during their big day. Never bring any problems to them because they have appointed you to find solutions to those difficulties. They chose you because they trust you can handle tough situations in the best way possible.
7) trust your gut feeling! During the wedding planning process, there were moments where my instincts kicked in and I identified several minor problems but I chose not to say anything. And those moments haunted me because I was RIGHT, there wasn't enough space on the reception table for two lanes. The couple didn't expect young families to use the sound-proof room next to the sanctuary. The ushers didn't have a clear direction about their roles. Ask questions that pop in your mind. Squeeze your mind and find those 99 concerns you/bride/groom have yet to bring up!
If you are ever chosen to be your friend's month-of wedding coordinator, know that it is a blessing because they have appointed you to manage one of the most important days of the life. Even though there are countless meetings involved, think of your job as a blessing to the couple as they begin their journey together as husband and wife.
~c.h.
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