for good

Here is my speech that I prepared for my grandma's celebration of life. As I was preparing, lyrics from the musical Wicked's "For Good" played in my head. "So much of me, is made of what I learned from you, You'll be with me, Like a handprint on my heart." That's how much my grandma means to me. She is my role model and prayer warrior. She has certainly inspired and changed me for good. 

My grandma is a woman with a strong voice, beautiful smile and a huge heart. To me, she is also a remarkable example of what it means to live with a heart of gratitude. Every single time I visited her at her nursing home, she would take every opportunity to shower the staff with compliments, thanking them for their service and care. Even when she was sick and weak at the hospital last year, she would make it an effort to smile and thank every nurse who gave her medicine, measured her blood pressure and delivered a meal. Aside from having the ability to make people feel special and important, my grandma always had the capacity to be see and appreciate all the ways God has blessed her. I don’t even remember how many times she has thanked Uncle Charles for the television in her room. Despite being in a wheelchair and living in a nursing home, she truly modeled what it means to be thankful no matter the circumstance.

My grandma also taught me the importance of helping others. Instead of simply teaching us (grandchildren) using her words, she practiced what she preached. From folding towels to knitting small gifts, my grandmother was always actively using her gifts to be a blessing to those around her. With humility, she considered others before herself. I truly believe that because of her example, we are each inspired to serve others and those in our church community. 

I do not think I can end this tribute without speaking about my grandmother’s strong faith. For those who visited my grandma often, you would often hear her repeat these words: “神話事, 神做主, 神安排” My grandmother meditated and spoke these lines every single day. Because she believed these truths, she was able to live with a sense of joy and comfort. With great peace, she did not worry about her future or our futures because everything is in God’s hands. Instead of spending her time worrying, my grandmother prayed for each of us daily by name. When she wasn’t exercising, eating, volunteering or watching television, my grandmother would pray for her grandchildren’s education, for her Hong Kong and Canadian relatives, for everyone’s jobs, health and safety. She had great confidence approaching God, who was her provider and refuge. Although she did not have a great memory, she seemed to have just enough space in her brain to remember the things she needed to tell God.

I have one final story to tell. When my sister and I visited grandma for the final time and we were getting ready to leave, I told my grandma that I was going to pray for her, and I knew she was going to continue praying for me too. She nodded her head and grabbed our hands. Closing her eyes, she spent 30 seconds quietly praying for the both of us. Although she was physically weak, she continued to pray for us. That’s the kind of grandma she is. She is a selfless woman of faith who prayed continually and love wholeheartedly.

On the morning after she passed away, I woke up and my heart ached because I knew that she was not praying for me that morning. It was difficult knowing that I won’t be able to hear her repeat her favourite phrases. But I believe she has repeated it enough to my cousins and I so that we will remember to trust in the Lord, help others and be thankful. Grandma, I wish you got to see my convocation pictures. I wish you got to meet my husband and see me walk down the aisle on wedding day. And hold my children in your arms. But it's okay. Grandma, I can’t wait to see you in heaven one day and spend hours talking to you about how God has been good to our family.

Thank you for being a living testimony of 1 Thess 5:16-18: Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for us in Christ Jesus. 

I love ma ma. xoxo

~cho