dear me

Going in the fourth month of quarantine, I have been reflecting a lot about elementary school ME...the impulsive, passionate, loud teenager. I realized that I have never written a letter to my younger self. So here it is...

    Baby girl, you are currently in grade 5 walking into your new elementary school for the first time. There are butterflies in your stomach and frogs in your throat as you walk up the stairs to Room 201. Although this life transition seems daunting, know that this new school experience is going to change your life. Here are some pieces of advice for you because I know you will need it:

1) Don't dwell on the concept of popularity. Popularity is no different from a fleeting breeze. It is important for you to find companions who share the same values, goals and ambitions. The quantity of Facebook friends only offer a temporary amount of satisfaction. Girl, know that you are going to meet people that will become your sisters for life, women who will inspire you to be a better older sister, student, educator and human being. 

2) Love is complicated. Right now, you believe that love is simply having someone approach you during a school dance. The five words “Can you dance with me” defines a romantic relationship. It's not like that though... My closest friends have taught me that you need to WORK in romantic relationships. Instead of clicking together like the north and south pole magnet, love is learning to show grace, forgive, communicate and understand each other every day. Love is being there during the bad days, accepting his faults and interrupting your life (sometimes) to accommodate his. It is vowing to work together to become better people, even if it means leaving the relationship. Even though love is complex, it has the ability to taints a person’s vision in a beautiful way. Sweetie, you are going to desperately want to go on a movie date, for someone to give you Valentine's Day roses, a guy to compliment your OOTD and someone to cuddle...but know that you have so much growing to do on your own. In the next couple of years, you are going to be refining yourself to become a generous giver, prayer warrior and sweet lover. Hold fast because God has a beautiful plan for your life.

3) Love yourself. I am sure you are not going to listen to this piece of advice, but I will still write it down. Stop straightening your hair because your wavy hair is beautiful. Stop measuring the circumference of your thighs because you are in perfect physical shape. Stop avoiding the mirror and caking yourself with foundation because it's okay to have some acne. Don't compare yourself to classmates, magazine models and pop singers because you are beautiful just the way you are. Your true friends are not judging your physical appearance. If you dwell on such superficial things, you are going to miss out on all the fantastic memories and benefits of being an elementary and high school student. By focusing on your physical self, you are forgetting to work on building good character, which shines far brighter than one could ever imagine. An attractive lady is an individual filled with confidence, grace and respect. She embraces the gifts and beauty that God has given her.

4) Grades do not dictate your destiny. I don't blame you for caving into the pressure to earn near-perfect marks and enter a "top-notch" university...but know that your grades are just a number. It is temporary and worldly identity label. I know this might sound crazy but 91.8% is not a number that defines me today! It is important to simply do your best and let Him do the rest. God is going to provide you with a post-secondary experience that suits your character and needs. He thinks beyond your tiny, naive, wanna-party high school mind. He has already written your resume so that you will fulfill His purpose for you on earth. When your expectations and reality do not match, it is going to be difficult and heart-wrenching, but everything will work out for your good.

5) Cherish the moments you get to spend with your school and church friends. Treasure the weekly church services, fellowship get-togethers, group projects work sessions and after-school conversations. One day, your friends are going to be dispersed around Canada fulfilling their studies and working in nice companies. You won't be able to hang out with them as often...it'll be a lot of bi-yearly catch ups and short facebook conversations. Even though your friendships won't dwindle, be thankful for every spontaneous emotional conversation, planned meal, shopping trip and bubble tea run.

    Just like a tiny frog in the well, you are going to spend several years dreaming, laughing and studying in this tiny park. Then, you will enter in a competitive high school where you are going to refine your study skills and experience the stress to be perfect. You will be bestowed with leadership opportunities and unexpected awards, but also spending hours crying because of the pressures of school/social media. In all of these experience, never stop leaning on your family for support because they love you no matter the circumstance. Lean on God because He provides everlasting comfort and offers true joy. In Him, you will no longer be defined by your online profile, relationship status and others' opinion. As you explore this big, vast world, you are also embarking on an ever-exciting roller coaster ride... one that is filled with fruitful lessons, stumbling blocks and unforgettable memories. 

Take courage. 

Press on. 

Glorify Him in all that you do.

with love,

~cho