looking back before running forward

     Tomorrow marks the last day of semester 1 with my fantastic grade 12 Fashion and Nutrition/Health class. In one week, I will have finished my first semester as an Ontario teacher. I haven't gotten a chance to document the process because it has just been so stressful and busy. As the Omicron cases have been rising, teachers (myself included) have been trying to keep our courses running while trying not to catch COVID. Although it is sometimes exciting to be riding this roller coaster, it comes with so much uncertainty and last minute changes. I have had to change my assessments twice and rearrange my lesson plans...but regardless, it has been such an amazing, blessed semester.

     It all started on the day I was informed that I had gotten onto the TDSB supply list which was followed by a phone call from AI. The secretary had told me that she had a two-day supply teaching job that could possibly turn into an LTO. My confused self accepted not knowing that I was going to start my teaching career in this fit-for-a-first-time-teacher school. Walking into building, I was quickly greeted by the Family Studies teachers who were apparently desperate for teachers. At that point, I didn't even remember by employee number by memory. They promised to take my employee number and tell the vice principal about my teachables. I remember looking over at A's desk seeing three bins (Grade 9 Foods, Grade 12 Nutrition & Health, Grade 11/12 Fashion). I said to myself, wow that seems like a pretty awesome schedule except for the fact that I cannot teach fashion. I did an on-call that morning and returned to the Family Studies department office for lunch. During this meal, A told me that the possible LTO was for her position because she had landed a job at a different school. I stared at the Grade 11/12 Fashion bin and thought, "I cannot do this. I can hardly sew or use a sewing machine. A full course load is too intense. These are three different courses that I have never taught before. " A told that she had learned  how to use the machine several weeks ago and that I would be fine. These two teachers were so encouraging and told me that I pretty much had the job. Extremely skeptical, I smiled and nodded and taught my afternoon class. After school, the vice principal personally came and said hi. He told me about the possible LTO and asked if I was interested. Yes, I was interested but was I ready? Hell no.

     The next day, I substituted for my current grade 9 class. They were quietly sitting and working on their Cooking Terminology booklet when A broke the news that she was leaving. Met with great disappointment, these students were devastated that they had to adjust to a new teacher. Their groans and complaints became a burden as I felt the need to prove that I am a fun and just-as-good educator. During lunch and after school that Friday, A handed me the baton, giving me IEPs, course outlines, lesson plans and Brightspace information. Thankfully, the waterfall of information was followed with a Friday teacher coffee run. I was able to meet staff from other departments and listen to what was going on in other classrooms. During that informal meet-up, a drama teacher said, "We teach kids first, curriculum second." As a teacher with 2-days worth of experience, it was a God-sent reminder...entering this LTO, I had to make sure I put the students first, curriculum second.

     And that was the beginning of "semester 1". I basically became a Family Studies lesson factory, pumping out 10-15 lessons each, trying to make sure that each lesson was enjoyable, culturally relevant, timely and educational. Between recipe testing and learning how to sew, I somehow completed the Spec Ed AQ (many thanks to productive Starbucks sessions) and continued private tutoring. Stressful challenges were met with lots of new learnings (about fashion marketing, technology, fad diets...) and I quickly fell in love with these courses. I love how students got to exercise their creativity, work together, share their experiences, engage in controversial discussions and take a break from more academic courses. As A described, her students were extremely respectful, ready to learn, considerate and responsive. Just like my MV students during practicum, I was able to work with them to reach their academic goals. After mistaking icing sugar for flour, my grade 12 nutrition & health comforted their crying teacher and told me that they had fun despite the mishap. My grade 9s played along as we guessed the mysterious ingredients behind various baby foods. My fashion students debated each other as they argued about the ethical issue of counterfeit clothing. Through these courses, I got to make a lot of my "teacher" dream come true...I got students to write identity texts and share about foods that are meaningful to them. They got to do the baby food guessing challenge and make ginger molasses cookies for the holidays. What I did expected was to relive high school memories again. As my grade 12s got their OUAC codes and opened acceptance letters, I once again experienced the sharp pains and butterflies in my stomach. I am so thankful that they were willing to share about their aspirations and worries with me during conversations in class. I hope I was about to remind them that failure is okay, mistakes are okay and new beginnings are exciting.

     There were failed lessons, messy instructions, poor plans and last minutes changes this semester, but I have truly learned to take things one step at a time, to do your best and to lean on those around you. Students can sense it if you are truly caring for them. As I run forward to semester 2, I hope for safety (from COVID), boldness (to take risks in the school and in my classroom), compassion (for all my students) and willing to continue learning. Let's do this!

~cho